Domum meo et sominum recursas...
Do you know who is crazy, in the comparative sense? Michael Jackson. Do you know who is crazy, in the superlative sense? Michael Jackson’s fans. I don’t mean you there, listening to Thriller and trying to do the Moonwalk when you are drunk at Scholars or Iron Horse or whatever bar you people throw your time away in. I’m talking about this guy, this fine specimen, this stern looking fellow and my personal favorite, this resident of Crazytown, who released one of those for each of the ten not guilty verdicts. But why? Because it was a symbolic gesture of justice and hope? Correct. Because she is absolutely INSANE? Also correct.
Normally I find people who stand behind a cause, no matter how hopeless, to be worth at least some degree of admiration. Not in this case, though. I think that the writing is on the wall in this case. Michael Jackson obviously has some very unusual ideas about what it is exactly children are for. I’m not convinced that what he did was criminal, but over the years it has become apparent that Jackson has a very unrealistic attitude toward children and life in general and because of this people should take caution leaving him in the company of small, impressionable children. Were it not for the sizeable level of fame and wealth (in assets, anyway) that Jackson possesses, he would be well on his way to getting pig-stuck by a large mustached man named Tiny and a broken broom handle in the C-block of the San Quentin School for Boys. Were I in that situation, I would have been traded for cigarettes twice by now.
Yet, these people, who are among the most dedicated fans I have ever seen, have held a fucking vigil outside the courtroom. Vigils alone make me think people are crazy. Where do these people come from and why don’t they have jobs? One of the scariest things that I can see from the photos of the Michael Jackson Trial Vigil is that a lot of these people dress like they aren’t homeless, which leads me to believe that they, at one point, did have a job which they quit before they decided to become a full-time Vigileer. I can just imagine some of these people coming home and realizing what a financial mess of their lives they have made. Just like their hero.
Name the first solo album Michael Jackson released and the first criminal charge that he was brought up on. (10 Points, but you have to get both correct, this is wicked easy)
Normally I find people who stand behind a cause, no matter how hopeless, to be worth at least some degree of admiration. Not in this case, though. I think that the writing is on the wall in this case. Michael Jackson obviously has some very unusual ideas about what it is exactly children are for. I’m not convinced that what he did was criminal, but over the years it has become apparent that Jackson has a very unrealistic attitude toward children and life in general and because of this people should take caution leaving him in the company of small, impressionable children. Were it not for the sizeable level of fame and wealth (in assets, anyway) that Jackson possesses, he would be well on his way to getting pig-stuck by a large mustached man named Tiny and a broken broom handle in the C-block of the San Quentin School for Boys. Were I in that situation, I would have been traded for cigarettes twice by now.
Yet, these people, who are among the most dedicated fans I have ever seen, have held a fucking vigil outside the courtroom. Vigils alone make me think people are crazy. Where do these people come from and why don’t they have jobs? One of the scariest things that I can see from the photos of the Michael Jackson Trial Vigil is that a lot of these people dress like they aren’t homeless, which leads me to believe that they, at one point, did have a job which they quit before they decided to become a full-time Vigileer. I can just imagine some of these people coming home and realizing what a financial mess of their lives they have made. Just like their hero.
Name the first solo album Michael Jackson released and the first criminal charge that he was brought up on. (10 Points, but you have to get both correct, this is wicked easy)
posted by Chris at 11:05 PM
2 Comments:
1. Got to Be There.
(I assume you mean his first solo album. His first album with the Jackson Five was Diana Ross Presents the Jackson 5.)
2. Jackson wasn't criminally charged in 1993, since the accuser refused to testify after the $20M settlement. While a civil complaint for sexual abuse was filed as early as 1984, the first record I can find of Jackson being criminally charged was when the grand jury indicted him on the charges he was just acquitted of. He was charged with "four charges of child molesting, one charge of attempted child molesting, one conspiracy charge and eight possible counts of providing alcohol to minors".
It's possible he had some other, minor run-in with the law. But if so, my googling couldn't find anything.
Funny idea for a Doug Coupland novel: Full-time Vigileer travels from vigil to vigil, making wry observations about the state of modern life along the way. From Elian Gonzales to Terry Schivao to Michael Jackson... all the while supporting himself by bartending at night in the nearest gin-joint.
Sam, if you don't have anything nice to say... you should run for Council.
But seriously. Good Coupland: Generation X, Microserfs.
Bad Coupland: Everything else.
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