Adamare nihil cum perfacetam aliquem

On Saturday, I did something which I have not done in a long, long time. I took Saturday off. While this is relatively unremarkable, there have been many times that the 6th day has been an unproductive bender of laziness, but I have not actually said to myself "I'm not going to do anything on Saturday," that is just mearly the way that it has turned out.

This time I did. I trapped myself in my basement, a place with poor cell reception, an internet feed that cuts out, and an atmosphere conducive to sitting on your ass watching movies, reading and sleeping. Not only did I take work off, I didn't check my email, my grades, my phone messages (in fact, it was off for most of the day). I didn't talk to anyone except a few people in the services industry, my roomates, their significant others and of course, the lovely creature that I spent this "Saturday of Nothing" with (which is what made the day truly special).

I loved it. It was marvelous. Comic books, movies (especially ones with subtitles), pancakes, fresh fruit and chinese food, shopping trips, naps, the list goes on and on (and gets better). And yes, I'm aware that sounds like a pretty packed day, but none of it was planned. The whole concept of the day was to plan nothing, and allow the day to pull us in the direction it wished. At no point were we obligated to do anything at all. A little tired? Nap time. Hungry? Go out for food. Bored? Do something, anything you want. It was like being a baby, only I could read.

A year ago, had you told me that I was going to do this, I would have said "My god! That sounds like some kind of hedonistic hell! No work? No school?!? But what will you occupy and entire day with?" No longer will I listen to the limp-wristed Dandy of a year ago. He is a fool. I admit, I didn't know if I was going to be able to fill the whole day. But as it turned out, we didn't have enough time to do everything we wanted.

Beyond the pleasure of it all, it was refreshing to be the absolute master of one's own temporal destiny and organization, which is rare for my and my like.

But now, it's back to the schedules, meetings, classes and other demands on my person. While I loved taking a day away from it all, I have to admit, to step back into my office and sit down at my desk gave me a sense of agency once again.

"Saturday of Nothing" will return eventually, however....

Aestas Album Litterarium

Summer is fast approaching, and with it, the implementation of my 'Stuff To Do' list. This is a catalog of deferred tasks, books, games and other items that I wanted to do during the school year, but told myself that I couldn't because I didn't have the time. A big part of that is my list of books to read, which is usually a large list, most of which will not be completed, in all honesty. However, this year I think I have a list of books that reflect my interests and station in life rather than recommendations from friends and family. I'm goinng to start with Cunt since I can borrow the book and it has the best title. The Frank Miller books will be day-reads and of all the books, the Bordo/Butler books are going to be the 'must-reads', since they will offer a good introduction to feminist and queer theory, which I have only a basic understanding of. Look how deliciously cosmopolitan I am.

1.) 300 by Frank Miller and Lynn Varley

2.) On The Genealogy of Morals/Ecce Homo by Friedrich Nietzsche

3.) Guns, Germs and Steel: The Fates of Human Societies by Jared Diamond

4.) Writing and Difference by Jacques Derrida
(I probably won't finish this book, Mssr. Derrida and I have a fractured past, but I am going to give myself one last kick at the poststructuralist/deconstructionist can, and if I still don't get it, then fine, I am defeated)

5.) Democracy Matters: Winning the Fight Against Imperialism by Cornel West

6.) Driving Mr. Albert: A Trip Across America with Einstein's Brain by Michael Paterniti

7.) Allan Quatermain by H. Rider Haggard

8.) Gender Trouble by Judith Butler

9.) Unbearable Weight: Feminism, Western Culture and the Body by Susan Bordo

10.) Cunt: A Declaration of Independence by Inga Muscio

11.) Sin City: Booze, Broads & Bullets by Frank Miller

12.) Sin City: Hell & Back by Frank Miller
(This one is 312 pages long! That's a gi-fucking-gantic comic book)

13.) The Incredible Hulk by Various Authors/Artists.
(Dan has been collecting this title for some time. It has always been my favorite comic, so I am going to to get what I can out of Dan's collection.)

14.) The Spartan Army by Nicholas Sekunda et al.

I will add/delete from this list over the summer.

Didici...

I was reminded today how angry I was at people for taking photo's of the Venus Di Milo on my trip to Paris with my brother.

Nunc scio quid sit amor....

Today has been a day of self-discovery. Pretty much all day, I have been plauged by a single, heartwrenching realization. Some of you near and dear to me may have seen this coming from a long way off, but I have finally admitted it to myself, after a massive period of denial.

Nearly two years ago, I bought "How the West Was Won", the live album from Led Zeppelin, a very obvious favorite band of mine (other than Steve Smith, who doesn't like Led Zeppelin? Fools, that's who). I put it in my car, cranked it up, I heard John Bonham click his high-hat four times and then the opening notes of "Immigrant Song" took the back of my fucking head off. My life was changed. I had offically heard the greatest thing that I had ever heard. Money? Riches? Women? I no longer cared for these things. All I wanted was 3 sweaty Englishmen and a pretty Welshman playing their sweet songs in my ear.

But, here is the part that I have come to regret: After hearing what music sounds like in the promised land of Live Led Zeppelin, their previously thunderous catalog has become a watered down version of their live work. With the advent of iTunes and the iPod, this problem becomes one of "Why would I listen to the recorded version of Over the hills and far away when I can listen to the live version. HOW?

This deeply saddens me. Since my mother bought me Led Zeppelin I when I was ten (WHAT A COOL MOM!), I have pledged fealty to the crunchy, load roar of what I have considered the greatest Rock 'n' Roll band ever to grace the face of the planet in all of their forms. After much soul searching, I don't know if I can do this anymore.

When people ask "Chris, I want to get some Led Zeppelin. What should I start out with?" I won't be able to say "Anything, it's all good. I can't choose," since I know that How The West Was Won is the greatest set of soundwaves ever committed to a commercial recording. I will have to say "It's all pretty good, but How The West Was Won is by far the best material of theirs you can get." I feel as if I have betrayed so many, but this is something that I cannot deny.

I'm sorry mother....I have failed you

Bonam fortunam, meus pulcheram feminam (id faces non eges)

If you are like me, today you are balancing writing at least one paper and assorted assignments. This in itself wouldn't be all that horrible, but if you are like me you also have meetings that break up your day and your paper-writing momentem, causing frustration, agitation and personal blog postings. However, if you are like me, you are more than likely going to be able to hand something brilliant (however, this is where the similarities with me will end).

In summary: Write some brilliant papers like I know you all will, and go get 'em at your meetings.

In meum si credas, possum seccedo

I am at a key moment, I believe. I am nearing the end of my first degree from the University of Alberta. I have three weeks of work left to do and then I can declare victory and move on to the next stage. I am also at an extremely high level of confidence in my job and I am ready to take advantage of all the responsibilities and opportunities it affords me to fully realize my position. My personal life, while still wishing to remain personal, looks headed for an all time high, if not already there. Reflecting on this today, I realized two things. First, and foremost, is the realization that the next three weeks will be the most challenging three weeks of my life personally, professionally and academically. While I may make this sound daunting, it is in fact not. Certainly, it is a challenge, but it isn’t a challenge like say, fighting terminal cancer. It is a challenge in that I will be compelled to hit high markers that I have hit before, but only in certain instances. Unfortunately, for me, my personal, academic and professional lives are interdependent. I should qualify that; that the various aspects of my life are contingent is something I have strived for. On one hand, success in all these aspects yields great rewards. However, a failure in one of these facets often means automatic failure in the others. So it is only unfortunate in the respect that it can be unfortunate. Thus, failure is not an option in any, not that it usually is anyway, but even less so in this case, at least from my point of view.

Secondly, I have never felt more confident in my abilities than I do at this moment. What I have recently learned is that while it is vitally important to believe in yourself and prove your capabilities to yourself, that belief will oscillate in relation to your actual results. However, you can accomplish illustrious things when you have others that believe in you regardless of your record of achievement, and will, in fact, be the ones to help you up when you fail. These people look at what you can do, not what you have done. It just takes one individual. Having people like that empower you more than any transcript, trophy or paycheck ever could. Thus, right now, I think I can do damn near anything.

Quod suae et cras incipio interum

So this is my own personal blog, for all my fans. I want to compose something with a little bit more substance, but I don't have the time to say anything right now.