Et domitor est...

It looks like Sam will be awarded the 20 quiz points. That is, unless "hendersonisafuckingtart" wants to step up and list who they are, pushing it to a playoff round. If not, then Sam wins the points and I win this round of the game of Internet.

Harlem, I will have plenty of time to dropkick you on July 16th or so. Be prepared for an argument that will first be intellectual but then will degrade into jokes about racial stereotypes and then will eventually be decided by a farting contest or eunuch porn scavenger hunt. Also, keep an eye on your mailbox.

Some quick notes:
-I had an awesome weekend, filled with fun, relaxation and stir fry. I don't really consider myself to be a person that celebrates the weekend as a break from the whip that oppresses the proletariat. That's right. I said it: people who look forward to the weekend are communist pig-dogs.

-I finally got my degree framed and hung it in my office. Within 20 minutes, I began to resent it. I felt like such a communist pig-dog.

-On the side you will see Janet Lo. I was going to put up everyone's character today, but I put Janet up first because she's super-special and shouldn't be included with the rest of you communist pig-dogs.

Today's Question:
What killed more Americans in the 20th Century: War, Murder, Lung Cancer or Communist Pig-Dogs? (10 Points)

Pauperies antiquem face!

In the corner I have added the Yellow Wristband of the internet. I would encourage you to do the same, as I was encouraged by others.

I'm too busy to justify writing anything of substance.

Except that's me as a South Park character. If you want me to do one of you, leave a note in the comments and I'll post them here. I will give 5 points to anyone who has me make a character out of them.

Although, I will say that as someone who reads news to procrastinate, I read a lot of amusing, heartbreaking, uplifting, shocking and just generally interesting stories. But this is by far the most badass thing I have ever read in my entire fucking life.

Today's Question:
What is the French name for the plant that Alexander the Great is credited for introducing to Europe? (10 Points)

Testis! Temptatio!

Because I am lame, last night I set up a quiz for people to take, if they wish.

Good luck to you all. The person with the highest score at the end of two weeks gets 20 Points.

Porcus Pecuniae

A few years back, my Uncle David gave me a most interesting gift for a 20 year-old: A piggy bank. It’s not one of those hardcore ones that you have to break to get the money out, it’s more practical than that with it’s little rubber stopper at the bottom. And it’s actually shaped like a pig, which is a bonus. It is perfect gift for a guy like me, since my biggest beef about this country is that it forces us to keep scads of change loose and unchecked in our pockets. Damn you, Susanna Blunt, damn you to hell! We lose change in the car and in the couch, only to argue over ownership with our roommates when we clean the basement. We pick up change on the street not for monetary gain, but for luck. I hate having change on me. So I stick all my silver change in my piggy bank at the end of the day (the pennies meet the bottom of the waste bin, I hate them so). But just the other day, I picked up my snouted little change fortress and realized that he (I drew a penis on him) is nearly full! Since it is a childish means to collect money, I certainly will not be spending the money on stocks and bonds. So what should I do with it? Suggestions and ideas for products, charities or events that I could put the money toward would be appreciated.

Question:
Give me the speed, in kilometers per second, that glass cracks at. (10 Points)

Domum meo et sominum recursas...

Do you know who is crazy, in the comparative sense? Michael Jackson. Do you know who is crazy, in the superlative sense? Michael Jackson’s fans. I don’t mean you there, listening to Thriller and trying to do the Moonwalk when you are drunk at Scholars or Iron Horse or whatever bar you people throw your time away in. I’m talking about this guy, this fine specimen, this stern looking fellow and my personal favorite, this resident of Crazytown, who released one of those for each of the ten not guilty verdicts. But why? Because it was a symbolic gesture of justice and hope? Correct. Because she is absolutely INSANE? Also correct.

Normally I find people who stand behind a cause, no matter how hopeless, to be worth at least some degree of admiration. Not in this case, though. I think that the writing is on the wall in this case. Michael Jackson obviously has some very unusual ideas about what it is exactly children are for. I’m not convinced that what he did was criminal, but over the years it has become apparent that Jackson has a very unrealistic attitude toward children and life in general and because of this people should take caution leaving him in the company of small, impressionable children. Were it not for the sizeable level of fame and wealth (in assets, anyway) that Jackson possesses, he would be well on his way to getting pig-stuck by a large mustached man named Tiny and a broken broom handle in the C-block of the San Quentin School for Boys. Were I in that situation, I would have been traded for cigarettes twice by now.

Yet, these people, who are among the most dedicated fans I have ever seen, have held a fucking vigil outside the courtroom. Vigils alone make me think people are crazy. Where do these people come from and why don’t they have jobs? One of the scariest things that I can see from the photos of the Michael Jackson Trial Vigil is that a lot of these people dress like they aren’t homeless, which leads me to believe that they, at one point, did have a job which they quit before they decided to become a full-time Vigileer. I can just imagine some of these people coming home and realizing what a financial mess of their lives they have made. Just like their hero.

Name the first solo album Michael Jackson released and the first criminal charge that he was brought up on. (10 Points, but you have to get both correct, this is wicked easy)

Delectamentum Tyrannosaurus Rex

Niceterium: Ne Peccent

I would like to give it up to Dr. Huxtable for tagging me (and subsequently allowing me to embarrass myself) and thus giving me something to write about. I've added a new category that I expect those who I tag to continue.

Number of books that I own:
Honestly, I don't own that many books. I have 70 in my room. The rest are in my garage or at my parent'’s place. When I moved from my parents house I left almost anything that wasn't a textbook. So what I have now are books that I have bought since I moved. Since the U of A library is so good, nearly every book that I have read recreationally has been taken from there and consequently I don't buy a lot of books. However, I would like nothing more than to one day have a solid wall of books in my home.

Books that mean a lot to me:
The Rommel Papers by Erwin Rommel
Allan Quatermain by H. Rider Haggard
Sin City (Collection) by Frank Miller
The Oxford Dictionary of Political Quotations by Antony Jay
Why Nations Go To War by John G. Stoessinger
Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien
The Island of Lost Maps by Miles Harvey
Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sednak
The Shameful Life of Salvador Dali by Ian Gibson
The Letters of J.R.R. Tolkien by J.R.R. Tolkien

While I don'’t want to speak on each and every book, I think it is worth mentioning that "The Rommel Papers" is an incredible collection of diary entries from one of the foremost military minds in history. The objectivity he approached documenting his days with is above and beyond what you would expect from any high-ranking military officer, let alone a high ranking member of the German army during the Second World War. That book in particular would be a desert island book for sure.

Books I have recently read:
Real Stuff by Dennis P. Eichhorn
The Prince by Nicholo Machiavelli
The Pilgrim Hawk by Glenway Wescott
The Ultimates (Vol. 1) by Mark Millar

Books in the Queue:
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggars
Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe
Dark Age Ahead by Jane Jacobs

I hereby tag:
Sam
Mikey
Janet
Dan
Anna


Today's Question:
According to generally accepted theories regarding time travel, if you are on the beaches of Normandy at 6AM on 6 January, 2005, and you time-traveled to the same position at 6AM on 6 June, 1944, what event would you very briefly be witness to? (25 Points)

"In umbra, igitur, pugnabimus!"

I have achieved two things recently.

One, I have received (I hope) the first degree of my post-secondary education from the prestigious (in Alberta) University of Alberta. My parents are very proud. I don't actually pick up my parchment until 13 June. Do I now have a library worth of useful information racked up in my brain? No. Do I have tomes of insightful arguments lined up and ready to go for any casual discussion on a range of political, social and scientific topics? Certainly not, no. I am I now prepared to take on a particular line of work? Again, I must answer in the negative. However, I have learned a great deal about critical thinking and how to properly empower yourself with knowledge. University is not about collecting the required number of credits, declaring victory and reaping the supposed financial benefits of higher education. As has been put best by the Associate Dean of my own faculty, "It is about revolutionizing your mind." I have pursued my line of education (as long as I knew I was actually pursing one) thus far for no real purpose other than pursue knowledge. I feel that combined with my reasonably illustrious career (at least in terms of duration of time relative to other officers and employees) in our local student organization, I have snagged a unique educational experience so far. I have not only learned about postmodernism, the electoral system in Sweden, the solar system, Latin (ahem) and a litany of other popular and unpopular subjects, but I have learned a great deal about working relationships, budgetary matters, how to deal with people in power, etc, etc. Most of all, though, I'm proud of who I am now relative to who I was coming into university. Hopefully, when years from now when I write a post detailing what I have learned from my second phase of my education, I will say the same thing.

Second, I filled up my iPod. It wasn't that big, only 15GB, but I own nearly all the music on it. Does that make me a consumerist sucker in the modern information age? Yes, it probably does. But I like owning CD's (to be honest, I just like having a physically large music collection) and I like supporting artists who, even though they still don't see much from the sales of their CD's, need to 'move units'. Bands like Fugazi, for instance, deserve every penny that they get. I will even go so far as to downloading their music and then buying it afterward, whether I like it or not. In fact, I have a number of CD's that I have never listened to because I bought them after I downloaded them and since I was happy with the quality of the download, I never ripped it onto my computer. I'm gonna stop now because I don't want to turn this into a big rant on downloading and consumer ethics. This is not because I don't want to get into it, but I simply won't make the mistake that my opinion matters on this topic to anyone that I would imagine reads this tripe-filled blog of mine.

So a big 'tu tibi futuendave es' to everyone who said I couldn't do either of those two things over the years. Especially my elementary and Jr. High school teachers.

Today's title is something I have stolen from my Latin text book in honour of Frank Miller's '300', which I made a point of purchasing today. Yes, it is a comic book, but it is an excellent comic book that draws from a compelling battle in ancient history. I suggest you pick it up as soon as you can. I don't think the story of the 300 Spartan Guards can be told any other way that in graphic form.

Speaking of reading, I haven't been updating my book list. That is because I have been reading everything except what is on my book list. But I have been reading, don't worry. Huh. I could have sworn I just heard my girlfriend snicker.

Here is today's question:
The top of a particularly famous landmark east of New York but west of Angkor is six inches closer to the bank of a famous river at a particular time of the year. Which landmark is it? (15 Points)

I'd quickly like to say hello to any new readers I may have acquired that I haven't and will most likely never meet.